Sigh

Sigh. This has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I mean, I am doing what I can to change and to earn back the trust that I lost-it hasn't been that difficult...it feels good to make other people happy-but it seems like no matter what I do, nobody really believes in me. Besides the select few, I don't think many people expect me to succeed or get where I want to go. I want sooo badly to prove them wrong and I will, but it just makes it 10 times harder with the things that have been happening.

Discouraged.

Doubt.

Not going to lie, I sometimes question if I really can do this. I sometimes wonder if I really am strong enough to make this life change permanent;that maybe the way I have been is just who I am. Maybe I am just meant to be a pain and a burden. Maybe all this trying is stupid and I should just let this dream go.

NO! NO! NO!

Lies straight from Satan himself!

I won't let it stop me. I will succeed. I will continue to climb this mountain. I will do this for the people I love. Jeremiah Barnes, Linda Glenn, Gerry Glenn, Brian Glenn, Alyssa Glenn, Meredith McClain, The Barnes family...all these people that I care most about in my life deserve this. And you know what? I think I do too. I want to be happy, and I have been the last couple weeks. Knowing that I have been trying my hardest and knowing that everything is going to be better than ever has made me so happy. I have had my downs, but those times don't beat how great it has been.

How great it is going to keep getting.