Look at me writing for the second day in a row. I promise it wont be as long as the last one :). I am really sleepy even though it isn't even 9:30...which I dont like because I know that this means I will be waking up early tomorrow and it's my day off. I woke up like 2 hours earlier than I needed to today because my brain couldn't shut up. Isn't it awesome how I could never get it to work during school, but when I am laying in bed at 7:45am, it's flying at 100mph. I guess I was just super excited about this whole change thing...surprised at how, for the first time in forever, I woke up with a sense of relief. Just knowing that things are going to be different and knowing that I won't be such a burden to my loved ones was an awesome feeling. Seriously though...do you know how exhausting it is being so bratty and needy all the time? It sounds ridiculous, I know, and you are probably asking yourself why I didn't just decide to change a long time ago...and honestly I don't know. I guess old habits die hard? I feel retarded that I didn't see how happy I could be without all the stupid crap I said and did a loooong time ago. Better late than never right? It's only been like 2 days since I have made this decision, and I feel like I have already made huge steps. Mostly because of my attitude towards it (besides my slightly upset mood cuzz I haven't talked to my sweetheart in a couple days...) but I have also done some stuff to improve things....
1) I'm going to start seeing a counselor.
2) I am getting a new job.
3) Going to volunteer somewhere.
4) Re-considering the idea of college.
5) Cutting out people who really shouldn't be in my life.
6) Spending MORE time with the people who love me.
7) Planning on deleting facebook soon.
SO EXCITED!!!!!!!
Hey Katie,
ReplyDeleteWhen you delete FB I may not be able to send you anymore messages but I want you to know I will be praying for you. I already told your mom you are very much like me in many ways and I'm so happy for the changes you are making in your life. It's tough when you think you can go no where and when it's hard to fit in, people have a hard time with people like us because we are not understood, we are misunderstood.
I think you should still keep your blog as I journal and love it, it's a way to write down all that stuff that gets stuck in our heads. At night when my head keeps me awake I take homeopathic calms, no addicting stuff and it slows your brain down so you can sleep. I'm hoping we can keep in touch my email is sreccles@gmail.com and you can email me any time. You have had a tough go in life but trust the Lord with all your heart and you will be just fine. I'm so honored to know you.
Blessings Sarah