Catching up on Days 20,21,22

Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Real important. Good luck getting far in life without at least a little bit of it...

Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.
Pretty. Little. Liars.

Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Oh dear. I have changed so much. 2 years ago I was trying really hard to find who I was. Soooo many mistakes have been made but I am finally beginning to figure out who I am and where I'm supposed to be going with my life.

Day 19

Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.

Sadly, I know too well about this. Blah. I feel like I've gotten better about it, but I still wasted many years thinking they were out to get me and were really rude to them a lot of the time. But looking back I know that they were only trying to help...and they did :)

Day 18

Day 18 - Your beliefs.

On? I mean we have already had the questions about views on religion and drugs and alcohol. So I dunno what else to say.

And again...

So it really bugs me-like hard core bugs me- when people think they are too good to talk to you but then are friends with your freaking brother. Ok let me explain...so I had this friend. She was like my best friend in the entire world. She loved me and I loved her, and we really had the potential of being friends forever. She was definitely one of the best people that have ever come into my life and even if she's younger than me, I would love to be more like her. But anyway, I was dating her brother and had a problem with putting her on the back burner. I didn't see it at the time, but it didn't take long after she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore to realize how much I took her for granted. So fast forward a year (today) and I creep on her facebook, I see that her and my brother are friends and talking and crap. Keeping in mind that even if we haven't spoken much in a year but I still care about her as if we were still best friends, this hurt like hard core. I don't even know why. I have never...NEVER...cared so much about a person this long after saying goodbye. Not a boyfriend, not a friend, not anyone. So it kills me that she doesn't even realize this. Oh well. Psh. What can you do?

Day 17

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.

Highs:
* Met Jeremiah
*Got a car. Even if it is a piece.
*Did my rebellious crap...got my nose pierced and my tattoo
*Visited my gma in Atlanta
*Made some really good friends

Lows:
*Well the year started with a break up. So...
*Also lost one of the best friends I've ever had
*Had some major bi-polar craziness that cost me a lot
*Learned a LOT of lessons...the hard way...and we won't go into that now...
*Made quite a few enemies


I don't know. The last year has been probably the biggest roller coaster ride ever. Some of my biggest regrets have taken place this last year, along with some of the greatest moments of my life. I've never believed in wanting to go back and changing things or taking things back up until the last year, because I really wish I could take back some of the stuff that has happened. Oh well. Life goes on.

Getting away...

For real, all I wanted for this weekend was to GO. I needed to get away and just leave so I could start fresh on Monday....but yeah that's not happening. And then all I want is someone to just sit with me and listen until I really have nothing else to say. Texting sucks and isn't working for me. I need a hug. Blah. But like I feel bad cuzz the same people I have been going to are probably getting real tired of me complaining to them. So I don't want to keep bugging them but at the same time I NEED to talk. I'm so confused and so stressed. Which is why I felt getting away for the weekend woulda been a really good idea.

Day 15 and 16

Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.

I dont have an opinion on either. So psh. Easy day

Here it goes again...

Vent time. Again. I don't know what's been wrong with me the last couple days but I have been in a horrible mood. Everything and everyone makes me upset. I mean, I have legit reasons, but it hasn't been till the last couple days that they have really gotten to me. Which is stupid because my life really isn't bad at all. In fact, things are finally going really well. With a lot of things. But all this stupid crap with people and things that really don't matter is bringing me down hard core. And the WORST part is that I can't even say the stuff I wanna say right now because I know I would get myself in trouble. Psh. But for real...life would be so much easier if we could just say whatever we wanted whenever we wanted to whomever we wanted. Cuzz that's what I wanna do right now. And I can't. Maybe it's ok though because I think if I could it would make things really complicated and more difficult than they already are. A hug is much needed right now, but it's become quite obvious that's not going to happen. Because things don't happen on my time. &%#@. I just want someone to hug me and listen. Who won't judge and who doesn't have anything to do with anything going on.

Day 14

Day 14 - Your earliest memory.

I have a couple memories that all happened around the same time at the same place. I remember living in the apartment in like Ellisville or somewhere. And there was a playground. I remember sliding down the slide while all the "big kids" made a bridge over the slide for me to go under. I remember sitting in the car singing Amy Grant's "Baby Baby" with my dad on cassette tape...more like listening but still. And I don't know if I remember this or just want to remember this...I'm pretty sure I do...but dancing in the parking lot with my daddy singing "Tale as Old as Time" from Beauty and the Beast.

Day 13

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

Forget visiting. I want to move. Far. Far. Far. Away. I just want to get away from all these stupid people who really don't give a crap and who only make my life more difficult.

Day 12

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.

*Woke up at 5:00
*Put on my uniform
*Started my stupid car
*Brushed my teeth and my hair and did my make up
*Went thru Starbucks and got a blueberry muffin and a venti white chocolate mocha
*Worked my butt off for 8 hours at work
*Went home and showered and re-did my make up
*Went to my therapist appointment
*Chit chatted it up with Lauren and Brittanie for like 2 hours at work
*Came home to do this stupid blog thing.